Our neurodivergent children are in God’s hands

There is so much to navigate as parents. We take on the roles of nurse, teacher, psychologist, detective, personal trainer, hairdresser—among countless other roles. With neurodivergent children in the mix, there are often complexities that stretch us, worry us and sometimes bring us grief. I love my children and absolutely want the best for them, but I’m sharply aware of my limitations and imperfections.

We have the privilege of being the most important people in our children’s lives, caring for them with the sacrificial love of Jesus. Yet sometimes this role presses down on us, as if its weight rests entirely on our shoulders. Parents of neurodivergent children may need to navigate schooling types and supports, therapy programs, communication options, home adjustments—and everything in between. We can trick ourselves into thinking that everything depends on us getting it perfectly right. But that’s a burden we were never meant to bear.

I find it an enormous relief to turn to the Bible and remember that my children’s past, present and future are actually in God’s hands, not mine. Whether they are born to us, adopted by us, or have come into our care another way, our children are first and foremost God’s children. Isaiah 64:8 says,

‘Yet you, Lord, are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand.’

Marvellously, God has entrusted us with the responsibility under him of raising these precious children. They are his, but our role as parents is profoundly significant. We have the joy and challenge of modelling and teaching the truths of the gospel in our everyday lives as we prayerfully make decisions, disciple them and love them as Christ loves.

Thankfully, this responsibility doesn’t mean that everything depends on us. God will see his purposes out through our good decisions and through our mistakes, through our super-parent moments and through our failings—indeed in all things (Romans 8:28). He works faithfully in those who belong to him, including our children and us. We cannot break his plans.

God has provided for our children’s greatest need: salvation and a relationship with him. We know this is not accessed through us but through Jesus: 

‘For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no-one can boast.’ (Ephesians 2:8–9)

The best parent will not win redemption for their child; Christ’s work is complete. The worst parent will not prevent them from finding Jesus; nothing can prevent God from doing the work he chooses to do.

And so, parents can lean completely on our loving, faithful God for all our children need—and for all we need. Not fearing the future but turning to our sovereign God in dependence. That burden we carry can be lifted.

And more, God has given us the gift of others. We are meant to love and serve each other, carrying each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). I find it such a blessing to share life with people who listen, ask questions, and offer support and prayer. And it’s a blessing to have people I can support too. 

This interdependence is epitomised in the biblical picture of church in 1 Corinthians 12—one body, united perfectly in Christ, where no person is complete without the church, where the church is served by every person. No part of the body can do everything, they are beautifully interdependent, mutually supporting each other in the capacities they have.

When we don’t have support like this, the loneliness, hiddenness and isolation can be particularly biting. Keep praying, God remains dependable, even when humans aren’t. Seek community, seek people who point you to our faithful, sovereign God.

Whatever stage of life you’re in, you need useful resources. Parents of neurodivergent children are constantly learning and considering new things, and often need to operate differently to other families. In this, many of us long for encouragement, biblical wisdom and Christian insights on practical strategies for everyday life. That’s why I’ve teamed up with Dave Whittingham, podcaster and co-author of An Arrival to Celebrate to create a new resource.

Our new podcast

Neurodivergence, Family and Faith is a podcast designed for Christian families with neurodivergent members, and for anyone who loves and supports them.

Dave brings ministry and teaching expertise, is himself neurodivergent, and has neurodivergent children. I studied education then biblical studies, and worked in children’s ministry as a missionary. I’ve done further post-graduate study in autism and neurodivergence and I have neurodivergent children.

Together, we look at the Bible, current research, and the lived experience of many people we’ve interviewed, to explore the practical aspects of everyday life. Our hope is that it will offer families encouragement, practical wisdom, and reminders of God’s faithfulness every step of the way.

Because God is faithful. Whatever comes, our neurodivergent children are in God’s hands—and so are we.

Find Neurodivergence, Family and Faith in any listening app.

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Kate Morris is the mother of three children, two of whom are neurodivergent. She has been writing free online resources for Christian families like hers, combining her education and experience in this field with biblical reflection and many interviews with neurodivergent people and their families. Subscribe for free: anextraordinarynormal.substack.com. Kate is also the co-host of the podcast Neurodivergence, Family and Faith.

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