You are not alone: the power of shared experience

Are you walking through a season of life that feels heavy, lonely or uniquely difficult? Perhaps you're caring for a child with a disability, managing a chronic illness, grieving a loss, or facing challenges that feel invisible to others. In times like these, it’s easy to believe we’re the only ones going through such challenges—that no-one truly understands what our life looks like. Sadly, that sense of isolation can deepen our loneliness and make an already hard season feel even harder.

I know from personal experience that connecting with others who’ve walked a similar path can make all the difference. When my first son was born in 2018, he was diagnosed with a rare genetic condition called PACS1 syndrome at just four weeks old. Those early days were a blur—hospital stays, medical appointments, the joy of newborn cuddles, and a whole lot of grief. At around this time, my husband and I went looking for a way to connect with other Christian parents who had navigated some of the same circumstances as us. This proved to be harder than we expected! We Google searched and we asked around but there didn’t appear to be any obvious way to find other Christian parents who also had children with disabilities. And so, two years later, in 2020, we decided to start a group called The 139 Collective as a way to help connect Christian parents of children with disabilities.

This group has been an amazing blessing to us personally! We have found real friendships with other parents—friends grappling with similar daily challenges, friends who can encourage us to keep holding on to Christ when things feel hard, friends who are also processing grief, and friends who can remind us of where true hope and joy can be found.

In Australia, around 1 in 8 children has some form of disability—an astonishing statistic when we consider how isolated families can still feel. We may not simply ‘bump into’ these other parents in our normal everyday lives or at our local churches. This can make us feel that we are the only ones in our circumstances and miss the reality that many other parents are walking similar paths of challenge and grief. There are many families out there living with disability of some sort and finding each other reminds us that we are not alone.

Having said all that, I know from experience that when we’re in a challenging season, the effort it takes to join a support group or reach out to others can feel overwhelming. Is it really worth it? Will it actually help? Do I even have the space or energy for more relationships?

Let me share my thoughts on the question: Do I really need to connect with others going through the same circumstances?

Not really …

The beauty of the local church is that we are surrounded by a variety of people and experiences. A healthy church body is beautifully diverse—different walks of life, different challenges, different abilities. That diversity keeps us grounded. It reminds us that our world is bigger than our personal experience, and our identity in Christ is what ultimately unites us—not our circumstances.

In fact, if we only surround ourselves with people who are ‘just like us’, we risk becoming inward-looking and disconnected from the broader body of Christ. Our specific challenges are important, but they should never eclipse the greater truth of who we are in Jesus. A support group should never replace the local church. Ideally, we live rooted in our local communities, where we can experience the beauty of walking alongside people with a wide range of experiences.

I am certainly thankful for my own local church that has walked alongside me and my husband during these years of parenting. We have experienced genuine care from other families very different to our own who have wanted to get to know us and provide practical support; kids who have reached out to our son and befriended him; older ladies in the church who have provided our son with the one-on-one support he needs to attend kids’ programs; and lovely members of our congregation who have cooked meals for us during challenging seasons. And in his own way, I think our son is also a blessing to our church community. He is a witness to others that all humans are made in God’s image regardless of their gifts and abilities; he reminds others that God’s way of working is radically different to the world’s. Healthy churches really can function like the body of Christ that is described in 1 Corinthians 12.

… but also yes!

But, having said all this, I now want to say that yes, there is incredible value in meeting with other Christians experiencing similar challenges to us. Despite the cautions above, I’ve found there are three powerful reasons why these kinds of connections matter deeply.

1. They offer biblical insight into our specific questions.

As a parent of a child with a disability, this journey has raised some deep, heartfelt questions: Why did God make my child this way? Is this part of his good design? These questions often aren’t addressed directly in a typical Sunday sermon simply because they're not relevant to everyone in the room. But when I gather with others walking a similar path, we can open Scripture together and find hope that speaks directly to our lives.

In that space, I’ve discovered breathtaking truths. Jesus sees me. He is working for good. He makes no mistakes. He has good plans—for me and for my children. The gospel is the same for all of us, but sometimes we need help applying its truth to our specific circumstances.

2. They help combat isolation.

When life is hard, it’s easy to feel like no-one else understands what we’re going through. And practically speaking, our challenges often shape what daily life looks like—including how we participate in church or socialise with others.

For example, many families impacted by disability find church attendance difficult and quietly stop coming altogether. That’s heartbreaking—and it’s something we want to gently push back against. We were never meant to do life alone.

Gathering with others who understand the day-to-day realities of our journey can be a lifeline. These relationships can fit within the shape of our lives, bringing encouragement and solidarity right where we are.

3. Your story might be the hope someone else needs.

Maybe you're not in a difficult season right now—but you’ve walked through one in the past. If you are a parent of a child with a disability, perhaps your child has grown and become more independent. Or maybe you've simply had time to process and heal. I’m particularly thankful for the parents of older children who I have met through The 139 Collective who have been able to share godly wisdom that has been forged through experience. These parents have seen God’s goodness and faithfulness over many, many years and can provide encouragement from a place of deep conviction because they really have seen God work in their circumstances. This has encouraged me on the days when I still feel so new to this whole journey and find it hard to see the way ahead.

God doesn’t waste our experiences. He weaves them into our lives for a purpose. Sharing what has helped you—how you’ve seen God’s faithfulness, what has sustained your hope—might be exactly what someone else needs to hear. It might be the very way God uses your story to bring encouragement to others and glory to himself.

Connection, not to-do lists

Connecting with other Christians in similar circumstances isn’t about adding more to our ‘to do lists’. It’s about remembering we’re not alone. It’s about hearing and speaking gospel truth into the unique joys and sorrows of our lives. And while connection may not be essential in a checklist sense, it can be deeply life-giving—and sometimes, that’s exactly what we need.

If reading this has made you want to connect with other Christian parents of children with disabilities then please get in touch with The 139 Collective. We’d also love to see you at our first ever full-day conference on the 6th September at Norwest Anglican Church in Sydney. You don’t have to walk this journey alone. If you're longing for connection, encouragement or simply to be reminded that you're not the only one—come join us.

More details can be found on The 139 Collective's website.

For more articles from Growing Faith, subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter.
To hear about the latest books and resources from Youthworks Media, subscribe here.