Encouragement for mums from Psalm 25

Lately I have felt at a loss as I try to understand my children and how best to help them. My eldest daughter has struggled to adjust to preschool, and I already need to start making the decision about whether to send her to school next year. My other two daughters are at totally different stages, and balancing the needs of three of them is overwhelming.

Perhaps you, like me, have moments when the burden of raising children, with all the big decisions it entails, seems crushing. There are schedules to keep track of, emotions to help regulate, and your own big worries and anxieties when a child’s health or development isn’t where you want it to be. Maybe motherhood isn’t all that you expected it to be, and the change of lifestyle leaves you feeling distanced from friends, your old sense of purpose, and even your sense of identity.

For centuries, the Psalms have been a source of comfort for those who love God. The book is a wonderful testament to how God’s people can bring the full range of their human emotions before God and learn to perceive his involvement in the highs and lows of their lives. I was particularly struck by Psalm 25 when I read it the other day, in the midst of my struggles to make good decisions for our three daughters.

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.
Relieve the troubles of my heart
    and free me from my anguish.
Look on my affliction and my distress
    and take away all my sins. (Psalm 25:16–18)

Loneliness. Anguish. Troubled in heart. This sounds like the way I feel when I get caught up in the pressures of being a perfect mum. I don’t think I’m alone in this. Many of my ‘mum friends’ have shared that the deep love we feel for our children means that we are terrified to make poor decisions for them. This means we might be paralysed by indecision, unable to discern the ‘best’ path. In our attempt to parent our children well we might become so consumed by the task that we sacrifice quality time with our spouse, friends, work, or serving in particular ministries at church—all things which have the potential to refresh us.

We feel the weight of forging a path for our family to follow. But the best path for them to walk in isn’t ours—it’s God’s. Psalm 25 is full of requests to be taught the ways of the Lord.

Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long. (Psalm 25:4-5)

Comfort is found in seeing that God has indeed chosen to reveal his ways to us. We can be assured that he has told us everything we need to know to be able to live for him (2 Peter 1:3). Psalm 25:8 says that it is because God is good and upright that he instructs sinful people in the way to live. What a relief to hear that we can know the path set by the loving Creator of the world!

God’s ways are knowable, and they are also good. According to this psalm, God’s ways are right (v 9), and we are given a choice to follow them (v 12). They are the ways of steadfast love and faithfulness (v 10), which God has shown to his people over and over again. He leads the way by his example. King David, who wrote this Psalm, understood that under the first covenant, those who feared the Lord and accepted his instruction would be rewarded in the fullest sense of the Old Testament—blessing, and descendants who endure in the Promised Land (v 13). For those of us living this side of Jesus’ death and resurrection we can expect the spiritual blessings of the new covenant. Ephesians 1:3–14 tells us that we have been blessed with salvation—with forgiveness, redemption and adoption into God’s family—through Christ Jesus. The best path we can set our children on is the one to Jesus.

Despite there being a way that is good and knowable, not everyone follows it. The secret counsel of the Lord is reserved for those who fear him (v 14) and who keep his covenants (v 10). This is not something that can be earned by our behaviour. Verses 8 and 9 remind us that God knows we are sinners, and it is he alone who is good and upright. It is not the perfect, but the humble and the teachable whom God will lead. Like the psalmist, we ought to keep our eyes fixed on God, who alone can rescue us from the snares of our lives (v 15). As we read elsewhere in the Bible, wisdom starts with the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7; 9:10).

By reflecting on Psalm 25, I have been reminded to look constantly to God—to seek his ways, to trust him and wait on him to show the way forward. While the Bible doesn’t tell me whether or not I should send my child to school next year, it does reassure me that God sees us both and will give me the wisdom I need, for ‘If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you’ (James 1:5). He has also given us brothers and sisters in Christ who have wisdom that we can learn from, whether or not we choose the same path as them. Psalm 25 teaches me that the Lord leads the way in steadfast love and faithfulness, if I will just humble myself to follow him.

The key to managing all the competing demands and decisions of motherhood is to keep the most important thing as foremost. I can focus on teaching my kids about Jesus and how to live for him, and not sweat over the decisions that aren’t that significant. Mistakes are allowed, especially when they give me the chance to show my children that God is the only one who doesn’t make mistakes. God has given us freedom to make many decisions that won’t impact our salvation or that of our children. Like David, we can be confident that while we hope in the Lord we will not be shamed (v 3). Our good God is worthy of our trust in every situation and each decision.

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Rachel Huntington is married to Mike, who is the Assistant Minister at The Oaks Anglican Church. They have three delightful little daughters, Sylvia, Esme and Imelda, who are great fun to teach about Jesus.

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