Teacher gifts: gratitude over guilt

As we approach the end of the year, there’s a constant stream of class parties, special events and goodbyes as our kids move on from a particular class at school or maybe even to a completely new school. In the rush and whirlwind of wrapping things up well, it can sometimes feel like a teacher gift is just another thing to organise, another logistical complication, another item on the ‘to do’ list. 

Finding just the right teacher gifts can be complicated, stressful and guilt-inducing. But at the heart of it, the impulse to want to thank our children’s teachers and show gratitude for what they have done for our kids is good. As we consider teacher gifts, it’s important for gratitude to be the driving motivation—not obligation or pressure to keep up with what everyone else is doing. 

Across my seven years as a classroom primary school teacher, I received a wide spectrum of gifts. Some I still have! I especially treasure some of the drawings and Christmas cards from particular students whose learning journey wasn’t always easy and straightforward, but whose tokens of thanks mean all the more because of that. But I also did receive some weird gifts. Probably the weirdest was a mug where they had downloaded my Facebook profile picture at the time—and printed it on the mug!? I have to admit I didn’t hold on to that one. 

So what should we be thinking about when it comes to our end-of-year gifts and thank you messages for teachers? 

Be kid-driven

Involve your child in the present in an age-appropriate way. Talk about why you are giving their teacher a present, or why you are asking them to write in a card. Be specific about things you are thankful their teacher did. Teacher presents are a good opportunity to teach our kids about gratitude. Even (especially!) if the teacher relationship this year was complicated, and your kid has heard you grumble about their teacher, it’s great to model a balance of thankfulness. 

Things to avoid

As a teacher, I always found it awkward when parents gave me alcohol. At various points I wasn’t drinking for health reasons, or had specific likes and dislikes, and though a nice bottle of wine could be well meant, it was rarely the best gift. 

Throughout the year, try to get to know your kid’s teacher (as much as you can in the busyness of life!) so that by the time December comes, you’ll know if they have a pollen allergy or dietary restriction. 

Check the school’s policy

Different schools will have different guidelines on what teachers can accept as gifts—what they have to report and what is acceptable. Check your school’s website, ask a P&C member or a parent who has been around awhile, and if all else fails, email the principal. 

Financial aspects 

If money is tight and spending a lot on an end of year gift for a teacher will cause stress or make you resent the act of giving, don’t. Don’t give a gift if it is driven by obligation, not gratitude. If you’re desperate to show your thanks or want to model generosity to your kids but money just doesn’t stretch to a fancy candle, then find a small token of thanks and write a heartfelt card. There are tips on homemade gifts and how to write a good card further on, but if all the budget stretches to is a block of chocolate, that’s enough.

Lean into quirky personalities 

Embrace the quirkiness of both kids and teachers! If your kid has an obsession that you have laughed over with their teacher this year, a themed gift can be a great keepsake and reminder of that time. I was very sad earlier this year when my turtle mug broke—gifted to me many years ago by a year two student who was so keen on turtles she dressed as one for Book Week! I still remember her and that costume, partly thanks to her kind, funny, themed gift! I’ve also received plenty of cat-themed gifts over the years, as I would regularly talk about my cats with the class as a point of connection and would even occasionally use a slideshow of cat photos as a reward for good class behaviour! 

Homemade is fine

If your kids like to bake and you know there’s no immediate dietary concerns for your teacher, some homemade gingerbread or Christmas cookies wrapped up nicely or in a decorated container can be a great option! For anything edible, I’d include a list of ingredients, just as an extra thoughtful step. Home-grown plants or homemade art or craft can be another good option. One year a student brought me a bouquet of flowers from their garden. It doesn’t have to be fancy—or permanent. Even the one extra step of framing some artwork or a class photo can be something a teacher will treasure for a long time but might not have ever had the time to do for themselves!

Consider a group gift

If you have good relationships with other parents from the class, or even a group chat to organise such a thing, a group gift can be a way to keep things affordable, while also showing your gratitude to your teacher. One year a class all contributed a small amount of money and gave me a gift voucher for the gold class cinema nearby—it was lovely to get to unwind, relax and watch a movie and take my husband along with me! Again, just check school policies on vouchers and total gift value, but this can often be a good option.

*Promote An Arrival to Celebrate here*

A heartfelt card is better than any gift 

At the end of the day, teachers are not in this for the money or rewards, or end of year chocolate haul. Most teachers work diligently week in and week out because they love the work and love your kids and want to see them grow and learn. Honouring that by acknowledging that you see and appreciate their work, especially in the hard parts, is worth more than any nice bouquet of flowers. Writing specific things the teacher did for your kid, listing things that made an impact helps teachers to know those efforts have not gone unnoticed. Having your kid write something nice, or even just adding their name in their own handwriting, can also be a special added touch. 

As Christians, we want to be the kind of parents who encourage our children’s teachers as they partner with us in our children’s education. The end of the year is the perfect time to express our appreciation with words and, if possible, with thoughtful gifts.

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Rebecca Sharley is a trained primary school teacher with experience in kids’ and youth ministry. She is a copywriter and editor at Rebecca Sharley Writes and writes at ‘Searching For Grace’ on Substack. She is the author of God’s Family Now: A New Look at Kids’ Ministry.

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