When you’re feeling the pinch

How do you feel when you’re standing at the petrol pump or the checkout these days, as you watch the numbers on the display rise higher and higher? If you’re anything like me, your stress levels start rising in sync with the mounting tally.

Right now, many of us are feeling the pinch of the rising cost of living. So how can we and our families face financial stress in a healthy way?

Look up

It’s times like these when we really have to depend on God, the ultimate provider. Like the rest of creation, we must look to the one who ‘feeds the birds of the air and clothes the flowers of the field’ (Matthew 6:26–30).

With empty hands and heavy hearts, we can cry out, like the psalmist did:

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1–2)

With the kids
We don’t need to explain the finer details of our finances to our children. But we do need to pray together as a family, asking God to provide for us. This shows our children that we’re depending on God, even when we’re feeling anxious. We could read Psalm 121 or Matthew 6:25–34 together.

Set your priorities

As our parents always said, ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’! We can’t produce more of it, but we can choose how we spend the money we have.

It’s a good idea to sit down with our spouse and make a weekly or monthly budget. We can start by listing out how we currently spend our money and talk about our priorities going forward.

You might look at expenses like: everyday food, dining out, takeaway coffee, schooling, housing, cars, insurance, holidays, giving to church/charity, kids’ music lessons and after school activities.

Which things are non-negotiables for us, and which things can we change or compromise on?

With the kids
In our family, we don’t just say ‘We can’t afford it’ about something the kids want. Rather, we emphasise that it’s all about how we choose to spend our money. We tell them our priorities—a suitable house, healthy food, clothes to wear, education—and explain that the new toy or experience they want just doesn’t rank as highly. We also tell them that when they grow up, they can choose to spend their own money however they like!

Ask for help

Once we’ve worked out our priorities, we may still find ourselves struggling to meet our costs, especially if we’re under extra pressure due to a change of jobs or some unforeseen expenses.

It never hurts to explain our situation and ask for a reduction in price, even if it’s just temporary. For example:

• Can your children’s school offer a reduction in fees? Do they have a ‘hardship fund/policy’?
• Can your bank or landlord reduce your mortgage/rent payments?
• When buying larger items, always ask ‘What’s the best price you can give me?’

We don’t have to be alone in our financial distress—it may help to explain the situation to close family and friends. Perhaps a family member might like to sponsor your children’s music lessons/after school activities instead of giving them birthday presents. You could ask family and friends to give you vouchers for Christmas, so that you can spend them on the things you really need.

Did you know that there’s a Christian organisation devoted to helping people in financial distress? Christians Against Poverty has a growing network of money mentors who can help you to get your finances under control. Financial Counselling Australia also offers free advice through their National Debt Helpline (1800 007 007).

With the kids
It can also be encouraging for our kids to know that our little family is part of a wider network of love and practical support.

Don’t take it out on your family

It’s appropriate for our children to have a basic understanding of significant changes to our financial situation. But it’s not appropriate for them to feel the full impact of our anxiety. As the adults in the family, we need to deal with that ourselves (with the help of God and each other).

We can explain that prices are rising and we’re having to cut back on certain things; we can explain that daddy/mummy is looking for a new job; we can explain that we have to sell the second car or cancel our holiday. But all the while remaining calm and maintaining our confidence in God’s provision.

Try to separate how you’re feeling about money from your day-to-day interactions with your kids. When we’re feeling worried, anxious or uncertain, we can become very impatient and critical towards the people around us. We may need to take a lot of deep breaths and tea breaks to help us stay patient and calm! I like to stop and breathe in deeply as a way of reminding myself that God has breathed his powerful, enabling Spirit into me.

Financial stress can also put a strain on our marriage. In difficult times, we’ll need to work extra hard at showing grace to one another. Assume the best, rather than blaming or accusing; talk about how you’re feeling; face the problem together as a team. And don’t forget the power of a simple hug! Knowing that your spouse is with you and for you does wonders for your worries.

With the kids
Our kids usually notice when we’re feeling stressed or worried. Try to explain to them (in basic terms) what’s happening and how it’s making you feel. But tell them how you’re asking God to help you stay calm and patient.

Tips for saving on big things

Can you save by switching providers of your mortgage, insurance, phone/internet or utilities?

Do you have unused memberships (for example, to a gym or streaming service) that you can cancel?

Are there things you can learn to do yourself, such as small car/home repairs or your tax return?

Instead of paying for holiday accommodation, can you house sit/swap, go camping or visit family or friends?

Can you manage without a second car and use public transport or a car share program?

Tips for saving on small things

Shop around for lower prices: buy ‘home’ brands, shop at ‘no frills’ shops (like Aldi), shop the specials.

Buy in bulk (from somewhere like Costco), possibly in cooperation with other families.

Borrow, don’t buy: books from the library, baby equipment from friends.

Buy second hand, not new: look on Gumtree, Facebook marketplace and in op shops.

Join a local buy/swap/sell group and look out for bargains and freebies.

Make or grow it yourself, for example bread, leafy greens, herbs.

Give time not money: when giving gifts, homemade cards, baked goods or home-grown plants are just as special.

Budget meals: eat less meat, slow cook cheaper cuts of meat, use leftovers.

Drive less: catch public transport and car pool with friends.

The Lord will keep you

Unfortunately, the cost of living is set to rise even higher in the coming months. Now is a good time to start thinking about how we use our money and how we talk about it in front of our children. It’s a good time to show them how to truly depend on God, how to live by our values, how to ask for help, and how to show grace to one another in stressful times.

Psalm 121 goes on to assure us of God’s loving provision:

3 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;

8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and for evermore. (Psalm 121:3–8)

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Harriet Connor is the Content Editor for Growing Faith and the author of Families in God's Plan: 12 Foundational Bible Studies and Big Picture Parents: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Life (Wipf and Stock, 2017). She lives on the Central Coast of NSW with her husband and four sons.

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