Leaving a living legacy

Attention Christian grandparents! Join us in Sydney or online for the National Grandparent Conference coming up on Saturday August 31, 2024. Find out more on our website.

The other day, while out enjoying a brief moment of sunshine, I was thinking about the life I have lived and the things that I have experienced. A range of questions crossed my mind like: Was I ever ready to be a parent? Was I ever ready to be a grandparent? The answer on both accounts was no. What did I know about either? Yes, I was married and had watched others raise their kids, but had I really taken any notice of what they were doing and saying? As for my own grandparents, they grew up with the old ‘children should be seen and not heard’ school of thinking.

Except for my grandmother who we ended up living with for a while. Let me take a brief moment and tell you about her.

The legacy of my grandmother

On Thursday, March 29, 1900, at the dawn of the 20th century Walter and Eliza Thorne from Dartford, Kent in England became the proud parents of a baby girl (my grandmother), a sister to their two sons, Norm and Len. They named her Isabel Allie—Isabel meaning ‘dedicated to God’ and ‘Allie’ meaning ‘little truthful one’.

Isabel grew up around Dartford and showed great promise as a student. Her teachers even suggested to her parents that she should become a teacher herself. However, by the second half of 1914, Europe was engulfed by the Great War. A young Aussie soldier, William (Bill) Endicott, a tailor by trade, had been sent to Dartford to recuperate from a serious injury sustained in France. One night he attended a dance. Isabel was also there. Romance ensued and they married in 1919. At only 19 years of age, Isabel left her family and friends, all she’d known, and emigrated with Bill to Australia. In January 1920, they took possession of a dairy farm in Punchbowl, NSW.

Bill and Isabel eventually sold the dairy and moved to Marrickville in 1935. Bill worked for the railways and Isabel continued to raise their children. She also began her long association with a local church—St Clements Church of England. During the many years Isabel lived with Bill in Marrickville, her children married, providing her with seven grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren. For a time, my parents, my brothers and I lived with Isabel and Bill. Isabel encouraged us to attend church and on a number of occasions took us to see spectacular biblical films of the time[HC1]  (like Ben Hur and The Ten Commandments). My grandmother was the person who gave me my first Bible. I doubt if she ever knew the influence that she had on my life and Christian faith.

My friends, this is the simple point I want to make. As parents and grandparents, we can and are already having a lasting impact, leaving a legacy if you like, on those who follow us.

For my grandmother and her generation, the events of WWI and what followed shaped her in profound ways. In a similar way, the things that we are experiencing a century later are shaping us and especially our children. Both parents and grandparents are facing the same challenges as we consider how to impact the next generation, such as the influence of social media and questions about personal identity.

We need each other

How many times have you heard it said that it takes a community or ‘village’ to raise a child? In view of this, I wish I had engaged with my grandmother more, but it seemed it was not the done thing in those days. By contrast, my wife and I along with so many other grandparents, are active in the lives of our grandchildren today.

We simply need each other. Over the last few years, research from Harvard University has shown that when it comes to the grandparent–grandchild relationship, the benefits far outweigh the challenges, especially if you live within close proximity of your grandkids. Why is it important to develop positive relationship with our children and their children? According to the research, it helps us to live longer, healthier lives and have a greater sense of connection and purpose.¹ We also provide invaluable support and encouragement to our own children as they raise our grandkids.

We are living in a very complex and anxious age. Our children need us and so do our grandchildren. We need to be working hand in hand with every generation, to help them develop the muscles of resilience and discernment, things I believe my parents and especially my grandparents learned and passed on to us. Christian grandparents are also called to show those who follow us what a vibrant life of faith looks and feels like (Psalm 78:4). I believe that irrespective of how old you are, and no matter what your faith journey has been, your grandchildren will listen to you. They, like us, still need Jesus. We need to help our grandchildren (and our children) to know and understand the hope we hold firm to, and to confidently persevere in the race set before us.

I have said it in the past and will keep saying it into the future: grandparents not only provide a connection to the past but a light for future generations. My fellow grandparents, let us embrace this season with conviction, and join with others in leaving a faith legacy that will outlast us all.

One way to do this is to join us in Sydney or online for the National Grandparent Conference coming up on Saturday August 31, 2024. Find out more on our website.

^{1. I learned about this research from Kimberly Bepler IBCLC New Parent Educator. Some of the latest research is summarised online here and here.}

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Ian Barnett and his wife Rhonda have three children and seven grandchildren. Ian is the CEO and founder of the National Grandparent Movement and the editor of Footsteps for Future Generations: The Faith Legacy Grandparents Leave.

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