Building resilient faith in our children

I worry about my children! School, health, friends, emotions, safety … and the list goes on! But one of my biggest worries as a parent is the Christian faith of my children. How will they navigate a world that seems to be increasingly uncomfortable for Christians?

What I sense about the world my kids are growing up in through news, politics, social commentary and screen media, is corroborated by the real-life experiences I hear about from my kids, my friends’ kids and in my work as a Youth Ministry Advisor.

In my worst moments, I’m overwhelmed by the thought of how difficult it will be for my kids to remain faithful to Christ. And yet I know that God is good and sovereign. And so, in my better moments, my worry is turned to the question: What can I do, under God, to help my children to have resilient faith that can weather the storms of life in this world?

Here are two answers from the book Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids by youth ministry researchers, Kara Powell and Chap Clark.

Foster intergenerational discipleship

Powell and Clark say that the closest thing to a ‘silver bullet’ for young people retaining their faith after high school was intergenerational relationships in church (as they talk about in this podcast). When young people have meaningful discipleship relationships with people of varying ages in the body of Christ, they are more likely to have long lasting and mature faith.

To put some flesh on the bones of this they talk about the ‘5:1 ratio’: where every young person has a team of five adults around them who are interested and invested in them and their growth as a young disciple. This could include a youth leader, a friend of a parent, an uncle or aunt, an octogenarian or whoever else, but the key is that each of them knows, prays for and encourages the young person in their faith. While this team may change over time, the principle of intergenerational discipleship remains the same.

Recently, a friend of mine was invited to a gathering for the 13-year-old son of a friend at his church. He and a group of others were asked to come prepared with a Bible verse they wanted to share with this teenager. They took turns sharing their verses and encouraging him and then as a group gave him a new Bible with each of the verses highlighted so he could return to them again and again.

In our home, fostering intergenerational relationships takes the form of a Bible study with a few other families where we include our children in the discipleship moments . 

What might this look like in your home? What might it look like for your child?

Help your child to serve

In my late teens, something that deeply impacted my faith was being asked to teach a group of younger children for kids’ church. It was one thing being responsible for my own faith, but another to contribute to the faith of others. When I started serving in this way, I realised that my faith was not just an individual thing. Over time, my own faith grew as I spoke with a group of kids about theirs.

Chap Clark calls this ‘contributing purpose’: a deep sense that my faith was important and valuable to the broader body of Christ.¹

In Sticky Faith, he and Kara Powell note that when young people are given opportunities to serve the body of Christ they are more likely to remain in the body of Christ.

What might that mean for our families?

Everyday opportunities to support your child in serving

Our kids are not just the church of the future but part of the body of Christ today. How great it is when they can participate in serving the body of Christ in ways appropriate to their age and stage.

Depending on their age and stage, they may be able to:
•    walk beside you (literally!) as you serve in up front roles
•    help with preparing meals to deliver to others
•    write thank you or encouragement cards to leaders or others
•    help you to host things like Bible study or get-togethers
•    help with welcoming
•    help with setting up or cleaning up
•    read the Bible or pray up front
•    serve morning tea
•    help with the music or behind the scenes during services
•    serve as a helper or leader at kids’ church or a kids’ holiday program.

When opportunities arise, jump on them! If your child is asked to help at kids’ church, get behind them. If they’re asked to share their testimony at youth group, help them prepare. If you are rostered on welcoming at church, ask them to look out for the kids to say hello to. It’s such a precious gift to a young disciple to have parents who champion opportunities for them to genuinely contribute to the body of Christ.

A further opportunity for your child to grow in service

I’ve just finished leading at Youthworks’ Leaders in Training—a camp for years 9–12 specifically designed to equip young people to grow in serving in their church. Each day young people:
•    hear from God’s word—this year in Ephesians
•    spend time on the ‘Teaching Target’: a tool that teaches them how to understand and communicate any Bible passage 
•    spend time participating in training that equips them to serve in their home church or school
•    serve each other on camp in many up-front and behind the scenes ways.

Here’s one parent’s account of what LiT meant for her daughter:

‘Being at LiT has fuelled Kyla’s love for Jesus and her desire to learn more about him and become more like him. Meeting new people has increased her self-esteem and confidence. She feels more at ease when leading the younger children at kids’ club.’

I love LiT for what it seeks to achieve—helping our kids take their place in the body of Christ as valuable and meaningful contributors.

It's hard to escape the thought that remaining faithful to Christ will be a huge challenge for our kids. Let’s turn that thought to a question: What can I do, under God, to help my children to have resilient faith that can weather the storms of life in this world?

^{1 In his newer book, Adoptive Church: Creating an Environment Where Emerging Generations Belong (Baker Book House, 2018), p 66.}
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Al James has been involved in youth ministry in a variety of contexts over the last decade, and now serves with Youthworks as a Youth Ministry Advisor to Sydney’s Western Region. He lives in Sydney with his wife and four children. 

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