The best gift for dad: fellowship

Like many men, I had let my friendships slip over the years. Not intentionally, but with church, family and work commitments, who has the time, let alone the energy, to meet up for a chat, a coffee or even a beer?!

So, for my 50th birthday, I tried to rectify that. I organised with several of my mates to take the kids … ‘Dad camping’!

It was awesome!

(Trigger warning: the next paragraph contains content that may concern some mums.)

We had fires with marshmallows and sticks in the fire. We ate meat. Lots of meat. And we didn’t care or check what the kids had for breakfast. We took risks—ziplines, mountain climbing and motorbikes. We dug trenches and demolished stuff. We ate more meat—bacon this time. The kids’ faces were dirty, but there was no washing faces. And we ate next to no salad.

We had a blast!

But most of all we had fellowship. As we enjoyed fireside or bushwalk chats I remembered how much I loved these men. And not only loved these men but trusted them.

The kids chatted freely with my Christian brothers. They accepted advice and guidance that they may not have easily received from me. We watched over one another’s kids, and I realised that I had half a dozen mates who could step in as ‘spiritual dads’ for my kids.

It was an incredible 50th gift.

Since that trip I’ve pondered what it is that I admire about my F.A.I.T.H. friendships. Five characteristics stand out.

F – Fellowship

It sounds obvious, but you’ve got to enjoy their company. My mates and I connect over shared interests, hobbies or life situations.

A – Accountability

My closest friends know me—warts and all! They know my sins, struggles and temptations and periodically they check in with a ‘How you going?’ chat.

I – Integrity

These men spur me on to be better. They inspire me with their relationship to Jesus and by the way they love and care for their families.

T - Truth

These friendships are centred around the truth that ‘Christ died for us’. These are men who are centring their lives around Jesus and living in response to that.

H – Honesty

These men are honest with me. They are prepared to tell me hard truths in love.

So, my advice:

• Prioritise fellowship.
  Seek out faithful brothers. Intentionally invest into relationships with men at church. Rekindle old friendships. Join a bloke’s Bible study group or make a time to read the Bible one-on-one with a mate. Plan weekends away like KCC Basecamp or maybe try ‘Dad camping’.

• Do things you enjoy doing together. 
  Or just invite mates around to do jobs with you. Men usually chat most honestly side-by-side, or by a fire or after something physical.

• Plan it with your wife. 
  I once heard a wise older woman say something like this: ‘I love my husband hanging out with his mates. I know they sharpen him and keep him accountable. I trust their character and I know he will be a better husband and father for the experience’.

This Father’s Day, why not ask for the gift of fellowship?

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Kym Abbott committed his life to Jesus nearly 30 years ago. He is blessed to be married to an inspiring Christian woman—Rebecca. Together they have three beautiful young adult daughters. Kym loves cricket, AFL, camping and the beach. He worked as a chiropractor for 30 years and has been a families’ minister for 10.

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