Bad mums of the Bible

As Mother’s Day approaches, we often start to think about what makes a good mum. And, just quietly, we are all kind of hoping our kids will take this opportunity to tell us that the best mum is us. Preferably in a card that also contains a massage voucher!

Recently I was asked which mums in Scripture had impacted me most. Were there mums in the Bible I’d like to emulate? Who are the good mums of the Bible? There were two that jumped immediately to mind. In 2 Timothy Paul writes about a mother and a grandmother, Eunice and Lois. He speaks about the sincere faith that lived first in Lois and Eunice, and that he is now persuaded lives in Timothy too (2 Timothy 1:5).

In Chapter 3 of that book Paul comes back to these mothers again. He is in the process of encouraging Timothy to continue in what he has learned and become convinced of, and the reason he gives to continue is this: ‘because you know those from who you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus’ (2 Timothy 3:14b–15). Part of what is to encourage Timothy’s perseverance is his knowledge of the character of his mother and grandmother. Because he knows those from whom he learned the truth of the Scriptures.

How I would love for this to be true of my own kids! I’d love to hear them say of me one day: ‘Oh, my mum had a sincere faith, she loved the Lord and now I love him too’. I’d love my own life to be an encouragement that could somehow spur my own kids on in their faith.

But as I thought a little more about the question, there were actually some other mums in the Bible that came to mind. Mums who seemed in many ways to get it wrong.  I thought about Rebekah with her twins, Jacob and Esau. She picked a favourite in Jacob, while her husband Isaac picked Esau. Her favouritism was so blatant that she hatched a plan to have Jacob trick his brother out of his blessing. Even when Jacob raised hesitations with the plan she concocted, she pushed him to go through with it (Genesis 27). Or what about the sisters Leah and Rachel and the jealousy and infighting that characterised the relationships between these mothers and their children?

Even when we get to Mary, the mother of Jesus, we see ways she gets it wrong. Mary was obviously a godly and faithful woman, but at one point once Jesus has begun his public ministry, she and her other sons think he is out of his mind and try to stop him (Mark 3:21, 31–35). And let’s not even mention the time she and Joseph lose him for three days in Jerusalem (Luke 2:41–48)!

In God’s kindness, I think there are also things we can learn from these mums who don’t quite get it right. After all, God uses these imperfect women to achieve his perfect plans. And our God is still using imperfect people to fulfil his purposes today.

So often I don’t get it right as a mum. If anything, motherhood has shown me more and more my own sinful nature. I get angry. I lack patience. I’m distracted and not as intentional as I’d like to be. But I am a woman who has been saved by God’s relentless grace. Jesus has paid the price for my sin, and I am forgiven. And God chooses to use us forgiven mothers, who will continue to struggle with sin this side of his return, to work out his purposes for our own kids.

God knows I am not a perfect mum. He is not expecting I will be. There is grace when I get it wrong. And in God’s wisdom it’s often as I stuff it up again and need to apologise to my kids and my Lord that I get to talk to my children about the beauty of God’s complete forgiveness. My failure can showcase his perfection. I can share about the gift of the Spirit to help us change. I can reassure them and myself that our sins will never exceed his mercy. I’m thankful for the Bible’s example of God working out his purposes through imperfect mums, and I’m praying he will work through my imperfect mothering too.

---

Jocelyn Loane is the author of Motherhood: How the Gospel Shapes our Purpose and Priorities. She is married to Ed, and together they have five children. They have been serving in full-time ministry in a variety of contexts since 2008. They are a part of Naremburn Cammeray Anglican Church.

For more articles from Growing Faith, subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter.
To hear about the latest books and resources from Youthworks Media, subscribe here.