Tips for not being a Grinch this Christmas

It can be hard to decide whether or not to include Santa in your Christmas traditions. My family have chosen not to, and you can read about the reasons behind that decision in my previous article.

For those of you who are choosing a similar approach, you may now find yourself wondering whether  you’ve ruined Christmas! Does excluding Santa mean you’ve sucked the joy out of this time of celebration? How can you enjoy this season without being a Grinch?

Look forward to the celebration to come

I can understand the guilt of keeping fun things from our kids. The constant wondering about whether the lines we’re drawing are helping them fall in love with the gospel or creating a barrier to it. But don’t forget, we don’t belong in this world. We are foreigners, aliens—our citizenship is in heaven.

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Saviour from there, the Lord Jesus Christ … (Philippians 3:20)

We don’t live life to be comfortable, we live eagerly awaiting what is to come. And as we live like citizens of heaven, there will be times we ‘miss out’ on the things of this world in order to do what is good and right in the eyes of the Lord. This is good! We don’t want our kids to fit in. Salt is salty. Light is not dark. Their obedience to God will be the sweet aroma of Christ to those around them for many more years to come. So we parent today in a way that prepares them for not only this life, but the one to come.

Don’t make a big deal about it

Regardless of your good intentions, some children will still stubbornly proclaim that Santa is real, and no amount of truth-telling will convince them to pull their fingers out of their ears. But rest assured, the belief system of the four-year-old will not determine the convictions they’ll hold when they’re 30. When they’re ready to listen, they will.

In the meantime, I prefer to act as if it’s really not a big deal:

‘He delivers gifts to everyone in one night? How on earth would he do that?!’

‘He comes down a chimney? We don’t even have a chimney!’

When you see him at the shops, a simple, ‘Oh look, there’s a man dressed up as Santa’ is really all it takes.

In the end, I don’t argue or try to convince my kids. If they protest, I simply shrug my shoulders and continue on enthusiastically teaching them God’s word. Because there’s nothing more powerful than that.

Repeat after me, ‘I am not ashamed’

Did your worst nightmare come true when that teacher pulled you aside to inform you that your child announced to the class that Santa is dead? Great.

Stop and take a moment to remember the ultimate goal here. We are raising children to tell the truth. And there will be times when the truth they speak will be unwelcome and even offensive. In these moments, they have not done anything wrong! No matter how embarrassed we feel. It is not their job to keep secrets for adults.

However, we do also want our children to be wise and compassionate as they speak. Not looking to be right, but seeking the good of others. We can help prepare our children ahead of time for these moments and even practise these conversations with them.

Here are some ways I’ve heard families explain it to their kids:

• ‘Some families like to play a game where they pretend Santa is real. We don’t want to spoil the game for them.’
• ‘Every family believes different things. We can share what we believe—that Jesus is the King of the world.’
• ‘Different families have different traditions. Maybe you could ask them about theirs.’
• When someone asks you, ‘What is Santa bringing you for Christmas?’ what they’re really asking is, ‘What gifts are you hoping to get?’
• ‘If someone tells you they believe in Santa you can say “I don’t believe in Santa” and leave it at that.’

I will never tell my child, ‘Don’t tell them the truth’, because I want them to value truth. But I will tell them, ‘Be wise and loving with your words’. And really, that’s all we can do.

Have a response ready for the haters

Have you noticed it’s usually the adults who look at you in horror as you explain that your children don’t believe in Santa—the ones who go on to tell you you’ve absolutely ruined their childhood?

It would be easy to simply respond with ‘I don’t want to lie’ or ‘It’s not that important’ as a way to move the conversation past this uncomfortable interaction. But perhaps we have an opportunity to share the gospel in this moment.

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. (1 Peter 3:15)

Here are a few quick responses I came up with so I can be prepared:

• ‘We teach our kids some incredible things, like how God became a man, then died and rose again. We don’t want to tell them made-up stories because they trust what we say.’
• ‘Santa comes to give gifts to kids who are nice, but we believe God gives us the gift of forgiveness even though we’re all “naughty”. We don’t want to confuse them into thinking they have to do anything to earn God’s love and forgiveness.’
• ‘We believe Jesus is a real, historical man, and we’re concerned it will be confusing if we also teach them about a fictitious one. Kids find it so hard to tell the difference between what is real and what isn’t.’
• ‘God turned up on earth as a baby to bring salvation to the world. Everything else just doesn’t seem so exciting compared to that!’

Every conversation is an opening to sharing the good news of Jesus, and the better prepared I am, the greater likelihood I have of sharing the reason for the hope that I have.

*Promote 

Don’t forget to make it fun!

There are so many fun things to do around Christmas time! I personally have no issues with decorations and trees and other Christmassy things that have nothing to do with Jesus (no matter how hard you try to put meaning behind the colours of a candy cane!). They’re just not the main game. If it doesn’t hinder the message of Jesus, I’m usually on board because, in case you weren’t aware, we are allowed to have fun. So, enjoy the season as you work towards the bigger goals you have for your children!

Here are some things you could do to make December fun this year:

• Bake Jesus a birthday cake—you can even sing to him!
• Read the story of St Nicholas—I highly recommend Just Nicholas from Matthias Media.
• Hide parts of the Christmas story around your house to find each day.
• Count down the days using an Advent calendar—in my opinion, chocolate pairs excellently with daily Bible readings, especially at breakfast!
• Choose a memory verse for December and put it to the tune of a Christmas song.
• Make gifts for your neighbours and take your kids over to invite them to church.
• Play the ‘Santa game’ by buying gifts for each other, then putting on a Santa hat as you ‘deliver’ them on Christmas Day.
• Enjoy spending time together—have a day to decorate the tree, stay up late to look at Christmas lights, or make fancy hot chocolates as you watch a movie together
• Go to your church events, help out, and include the kids in welcoming outsiders. Because what could be more enjoyable than watching God’s word go out to the nations? After all, that’s what Christmas is really all about!

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Leah is a Children’s Minister by trade, a mother of four, and a proud Sydney Anglican. She is the founder of Raising Disciples where she shares ideas and resources on how to disciple children within the home.

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