When social media is delayed

In the space of only a few short weeks, a significant number of young people have lost access to social media accounts that were part of their everyday lives. For some it will feel like a seismic event. Platforms report that almost five million accounts held by under-16s have been deactivated, removed or restricted since the government’s social media age ban came into effect on the 10th of December last year.

It’s no surprise, then, that many parents are asking the same question: Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Reactions have been mixed. Some parents feel relieved. Others are sceptical. Many are unsure what it will actually change in their family’s day-to-day life.

But perhaps the more important question isn’t whether the policy is right or wrong. It’s this:

How do we talk with our kids about what’s happening—and what it reveals about the digital world they’re growing up in?

It’s worth saying up front that no policy can raise our children for us. A delay or ban doesn’t remove the pressures of online life, nor does it magically form wise, resilient young people. What it does offer is a pause—and pauses matter.

In family life, pauses give us space to notice what’s shaping us and our children, often without us realising. Social media platforms aren’t neutral spaces. They are designed environments, built to capture attention, shape behaviour, and reward certain kinds of engagement. That doesn’t make them evil, but it does mean they are powerful. And this pause is no longer theoretical: accounts have gone quiet, access has changed, and something that felt normal suddenly feels absent. This moment gives parents a chance to help their children see that power more clearly—not so we panic, but so we parent with greater intention.

If your child is frustrated or confused by the change, try to resist the urge to begin with rules or lectures. Start with curiosity instead. Ask what they’re feeling. Ask what they think adults are worried about. Ask what they enjoy most about being online, and what they find hardest.

These aren’t trick questions. They’re invitations. When kids feel heard, they’re far more open to reflection. And reflection is the soil in which wisdom grows.

For some tweens and teens, this moment genuinely feels like a loss. Friendships may feel interrupted. A sense of belonging may feel shaken. Even if we believe the policy is wise, the sadness or anger our children feel can still be real. Walking with them begins by acknowledging their grief, not dismissing it or rushing past it.

Our aim isn’t to watch over our children from a distance, but to walk with them as they learn, helping them notice patterns, pressures and possibilities along the way.

One of the most helpful shifts parents can make is moving the conversation from behaviour to formation. Instead of focusing only on what our children are doing online, we can gently explore what it’s doing to them.

Social media doesn’t just host content. Over time, it shapes habits of attention, comparison, affirmation and identity. It quietly answers questions every teenager is already asking: Who am I? Do I matter? What makes me valuable? Who decides what’s true?

As Christian parents, we recognise these identity questions as deeply theological. Scripture tells us that our children are made in God’s image, known and loved by him long before they curate a profile or post a photo. This moment gives us an opportunity to reconnect those dots—to help our children see that what forms them most deeply is not what they consume, but what they come to love and trust.

It’s also important that we don't caricature the online world. For many teens, social media is where friendships are sustained, creativity is expressed, and belonging is felt—especially in seasons of isolation. That’s real, and it matters.

At the same time, this pause invites gentle discernment. Does this platform encourage comparison or connection? Does it leave you more content—or more restless? Who benefits most from the time and attention you give here?

These questions are less accusations and more a gentle invitation to curiosity that leads to wisdom. Wisdom isn’t built by avoiding every risk, but by learning to recognise what draws us closer to life, and what slowly diminishes it.

This pause in their social media is likely to leave our kids with time and attention that used to be spent connected online. The temptation is to fill the gap immediately with something else—another screen, another activity, another distraction. Why not take the chance instead to practise rhythms that quietly reinforce what we value: shared meals without phones; unhurried conversation; creative or physical activities that don’t produce a performance to be rated; space for silence, prayer or reading together.

These practices aren’t meant to replace digital life entirely. They remind our children that their worth isn’t measured in views, likes or responses, and that attention, presence and love aren't just online attributes, but are fully experienced and learned in the real world, through practice.

Our children are watching how we live with technology ourselves—and how we respond when decisions frustrate or disappoint us. Even where parents strongly disagree with a policy, the way that disagreement is expressed matters. When we respond with contempt, anger or cynicism, our children learn something about authority, trust and character. When we respond with honesty, restraint and grace, they learn something far better.

The habits we model—what we reach for, what we put down, and how we speak—teach our children far more than any rule ever could.

For teens who are close to the age threshold, this moment can open a different kind of conversation. Instead of asking, When will I be allowed?, we can talk about readiness. What helps someone use these tools wisely? What boundaries would you choose for yourself? How would you want technology to serve you, rather than control you?

The goal isn’t to keep our children from ever being exposed to influences like social media, but to prepare them to navigate them wisely when they are. Trust grows as children show wisdom, and wisdom grows as they’re given space to practise. Maturity, in the end, isn’t something imposed; it’s something grown.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. The digital world is changing fast, and no parent feels fully equipped. But we’re not raising tech experts. We’re raising disciples.

God hasn’t asked us to predict every future challenge. He asks us to walk faithfully with our children, teaching them to love what is good, true and life-giving.

This policy moment will pass. The conversations it opens don’t have to. If we use this pause well, it can become not a loss, but a chance to help our children grow in wisdom, discernment, and confidence in who they are before God, online and offline.

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James and Simone Boswell have six children and a growing number of grandchildren (nine so far!). They have been involved in parenting ministries, speaking at conferences, churches and schools for nearly thirty years. James works in the IT industry and Simone is a music teacher. They co-authored Cyberparenting: Raising Your Kids in an Online World and are contributors to the forthcoming book, Parenting in God’s Family Volume 2: More Biblical Wisdom for Everyday Issues.

Coming soon: Parenting in God's Family Volume 2:
More Biblical Wisdom for Everyday Issues.

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