Halloween heart check: balancing conviction and grace 

Each year, many Christian parents face the same question: What should we do about Halloween?

Given Halloween is next week and many of us are weighing up the pros and cons, I thought it might be helpful to pause and have a ‘heart check’ of what’s behind our decision-making process. 

The aim for us all is to be reflective, not reactive, making every effort to keep unity and peace within the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:3). 

Start with biblical conviction

Coming to a place of conviction needs to start with biblical truth.

Through Christ, we are free to walk in our biblically grounded convictions when it comes to navigating this world and all the little decisions we make as individuals and families. As we make those decisions, we need to remember a few core things.

We do not live in fear. Therefore, our decisions should be made in love and with a ‘sound mind’, not out of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). That means our actions and participation in events throughout life should be considered thoughtfully, not reactively, clinging to truth rather than culture.

We are to walk wisely, seeking God’s wisdom (James 1:5), abiding in his commands and therefore his love (John 15:7–11), making decisions with humility, and counting others more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).

Romans 14 is an important passage as we navigate this. We ought to remember Paul’s warning to the Jews and Gentiles of his time—he expected that they would arrive at different convictions on certain matters (such as food,  drink and special days) and this was OK. The key was to hold those convictions with truth and sincerity, without leading others into sin in the process.

With this foundation, we can start working through some other considerations when it comes to Halloween.

Don’t get stuck on origins

We can easily get caught up debating Halloween’s origins, but they don’t have to be the deciding factor.

I’ve looked into it, and what I’ll say is this: not all things that start well remain good. Time changes culture and understanding. It’s wise to learn from history, but it won’t always speak directly into our present.

Rather than focusing on where Halloween came from, we should be asking: What does Halloween communicate now? 

Discerning your kids’ needs

All our kids are unique image bearers. I can personally attest to the way God gave me four very different humans.

Two of them think the scary decorations (like the hideous ones in Bunnings!) are hilarious. They’ll mock them and play with them: it won’t really impact them. My other two though are incredibly sensitive, carrying images in their minds for weeks and being deeply affected.

We preach the same truths to all four, we pray with all four, and we read Scripture with all four. Yet they experience and process things differently. This means we need to shepherd each of their hearts according to how God has made them. Our decision as parents needs to include humility and dying to our own self-interests. It means we take into account what shepherding our particular children’s hearts and minds looks like in each season, including Halloween. 

How do we do this? We seek their Father’s wisdom, we learn from our mistakes, and we involve them in the decision-making process.

You know your children best. Focus on what they need, keeping your focus on what God says they need, not what the world says.

Discipling your kids in truth

Halloween offers ample opportunities for discipleship. It presents a unique time to discuss the supernatural realm with our kids. As we navigate decision making are we considering the discipleship opportunity that is being presented?

Halloween presents a very tangible opportunity to discuss evil in the world. 

When they ask, ‘Are ghosts/demons/spooky things real?’ we can answer, ‘Yes! But …’

We may not come across them much in our secular Western society, but demons are real and can take on different physical forms (such as a talking snake!). We have friends who have experienced very real demonic encounters, and some bear the scars to show it. We should never avoid the truth of the supernatural battle that is taking place (Ephesians 6:12). 

In doing so we don’t dismiss the enemy’s presence, but we do elevate and re-emphasise Jesus’ victory over death and how we no longer need to fear. We worship a triumphant King, one who crushed the serpent's head. This truth needs to take root in our children’s hearts—they are knights (or princesses!) who have already won the battle with the dragon because of Jesus! 

All this brings to life passages like Psalm 23—'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not fear’. Jesus is very much with them as they navigate dark valleys. 

In turn, as a family, this also helps us learn what it means to respect one another’s differences—the ‘braver ‘ ones showing understanding and compassion to the sensitive ones— and to encourage one another towards courage, bravery, and strength through Christ.

All these opportunities help grow our kids' capacity to respond to friends who hold different views and helps them understand our decisions. 

To explore this topic further, see my article ‘How to talk to your kids about Satan’, my conversation with Peter Bolt about ‘What the Bible really says about the supernatural and underworld’ and Rory Shiner’s article ‘Let’s tell ghost stories’.

Out of darkness, into light

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:9)

I’ve heard this passage—and many others—used by both sides of the Halloween debate.

For some, they earnestly participate in Halloween because they see it as a gospel opportunity. It’s precisely because of these passages that they feel called to enter ‘dark’ spaces to share the light of Christ.

For others, those same passages compel them to refrain. To them, participation would feel like aligning with darkness, and so they step back out of conviction.

Harking back to Romans 14, we must respectfully consider that both sides may have the right heart motive.

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval. Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (Romans 14:17–19)

And again:

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin. (Romans 14:22–23)

We need to work hard at respecting one another's decisions and not accusing another of immature faith or lack of love for God. This is unhelpful and harmful and not what we should be modelling to our children. 

Be consistent (and honest)

To those with a sensitive conscience about Halloween my question is: How consistent are you? Are you just as diligent in protecting your kids from the inappropriate themes in music, film, games, influencers and other media they consume?

To those who are enthusiastic about Halloween: Are you helping your kids understand the very real spiritual forces at work in the world? Are you equipping them with the real gospel as they go out and evangelise, not just telling them to invite their friends to another event?

To those against Halloween: Are you praying for your brothers and sisters who are intentionally engaging with their neighbours during this season?

To those for Halloween: Are you respecting the convictions of those who don’t participate, without mockery or judgement?

This is a season to fight for unity, not something to divide over. We can make different decisions and still support one another.

So what should a Christian do with Halloween? 

Think deeply, pray diligently and seek Scripture for direction. Be intentional with your children, use every opportunity to point them to Jesus and preach truth. 

Ultimately, wherever you land, whether you participate or refrain, do it all for the glory of God. ‘So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

If you’d like to think more about a Christian approach to Halloween, you can listen to a podcast episode I recorded a couple of years ago.

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Cass Backhouse is married to Will and together they have four young children. Cass is the host of HerTheology podcast, which explores all of life in the light of the Bible.

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